A Survivor, An Ally to Command
by TheNextPage
Summary: Jake finds himself free of the Hole and searching for answers, resolutions and Olivia's genuine affection . A sequel to 'A Spy, An Officer and a Gentleman' following Captain Jacob "Jake" Ballard's story through Season 3
1. Prologue - Light and Shadows

{Episode Prompt - 301}

Impenetrable shadows. Or blinding light. And pain. Excruciating, concentrated pain. Time held no meaning – he lived in a continuum of cold, rustic shabbiness followed by agonizing pain, hurried patching-up and then repetitions and recurrences of the same horror. It was like his life was a nightmarish echo: being blinded by darkness or blinded by light, soul-racking pain, cruel convalescence always surrounding him and coming back at him again.

But inside him, inside a tiny crevice they couldn't get to, he held her there. Olivia. He replayed images of her: the fall of her hair, the softness of her skin, the way she smiled around her wine glass, her fondness...no, fixation on popcorn. He replayed her. And the only thought that brought him a measure of peace in this unfathomable torment:

She must be ok. They had taken him instead.

They wouldn't keep him like this; they wouldn't torture him like this; if they had him then she must be ok...somewhere, out there. And that was fine. He had done right by her.

She was ok.

He had saved her.

She was ok.

He had saved her...

* * *

{A/N: Why hello there ;) And i'm back!

First off,_**Music1623, Clio1792**_and _**Knightly**_** Dreamer,** thank you especially for the love. Made me so excited to see your reviews and for sticking with me! This one is for y'all 3

To every other reviewer, i see you too! And I thank you. Every follow and favourite was like a gentle pat on the back saying 'That wasn't too shabby love. Keep on it!' So i'm here with my take on/of Season 3 from Olivia's other leading man's p.o.v, as a warm-up/ recap before Season 4 which comes back in a month! Yey. I'll post regularly, hold me to it! As always, tell me what works for you, what doesn't... this is for you too}


	2. Hi

{Episode Prompt - 302}

He knew this place. He had been here before – a lifetime ago. This was her home. Olivia. But why were they bringing him here? Why were they letting him out, and bringing him here?

Was this their final torment – were they going to kill her anyway and make him watch? Or had they already done it and were going to pin the murder on him? The possibility of even seeing her again – however this would possibly play out – he welcomed this respite, this break in the echo.

It was too much to hope that they were letting him go. They didn't operate like that. Once they made you, you were theirs. But for a moment, a mere glimpse...God help him, he could barely stand, he was covered in filth and he was pretty sure he had something living and growing on him. If this was a trick, some cunning ruse to break him, they would probably succeed. If they were letting him go...would he jinx it if he thought it?

The elevator, those soft lights, that plush carpet and that ornate chair in the corner...could this be real.

Then she opened the door: eyes wide, mouth agape, attached to a phone – yep, that was her! Leaning heavily against the door-frame, entirely overwhelmed by this moment and dreading with equal amounts of excitement and fear what would come next...

"Hi."

And he crumpled on her floor, trying to maintain eye contact with the tangible vision of the ethereal angel that had saved him in the Hole.

He was here, they had left and she was still there.

He was here. They had left.

He was here...

And this was real.


	3. Hero

{Episode Prompt - 303}

He was clean. The scraggly beard would survive for another day – he couldn't stand and Olivia couldn't hold him up...though she would never know how she sustained him in his mind.

She had let him lean on her, supporting him as best she could under her petite frame, and he had dropped into her bed, naked, battered and bruised. And just maybe, unless they dragged him back into the Hole, this time he would convalesce and truly heal...truly start to entirely heal.

He had never been in here. Her room. This bed. He had wanted it. Watching her on those feeds, he had imagined if the thread-count on those soft white sheets felt as if the gods themselves were wrapping you in soothing warmth as you slept. He would have to say yes: when he closed his eyes and the trauma of the Hole would rear itself behind his eyes, the incongruence of his dreadful ordeal and the softness that surrounded him would drag him back to reality. He was safe. He was in her bed. _Her_.

She was safe. She had allowed him into her home and she was looking after him.

The lurid recollections stayed with him all night: crawling forth from the shadows, slinking in from darkened corners and stealing his peace with every twinge of his bruised body. But she stayed with as well: she stayed with him all night; in her mesmerised vigil on the floor; in the calming, steadfast reality of her home. He was safe. She was watching over him.

He was safe.

She was watching over him.

* * *

He awoke, to find her gone, with a note detailing the layout of her house – it was kind of her to offer him that courtesy as if didn't know every inch and nook of that apartment.

He managed a bath – the shower revived memories he didn't want assailing him as he tried to start his day...too much like being held under, a steady stream of interminable water that was sure to drown him. He shook the memories away, tried to still his trembling hands on the basin, fought the haunting spectres that played before his eyes, revived in every cut, scratch and bruise mapping his body.

He had pulled on fresh clothing. He didn't trust his hands enough to risk shaving. He padded out to the kitchen, found a note stuck elegantly on the fridge, apologising for the lack of contents therein. There was a follow-up note, that groceries would be delivered and left at the door.

The soup had been a genius move – warm, nourishing and easy on his fragile digestion. He had slipped back into bed, and fallen asleep, awoken by the gentle vibrating of a phone beside him.

It took him a moment to recollect where he was, for the fog to dissipate from his brain. He welcomed nothingness to his recent memories. Groggy, and with a hint of trepidation he answered.

"Jake, I need your help."

* * *

Olivia had called, explaining where she was and what was going on. Anxiety scattered but rose back to fever pitch when she hinted at what had just happened, and explained what she needed him to do.

Pacing around the living room, he makes the call to Fitz.

"...no matter what we feel for Olivia personally..."

Jake shook his head, looking away in frustration. Fitz missed the point, again. This wasn't a pissing match, it wasn't solely about Olivia and him. Perhaps he was just hyper-sensitive to Ms Nesbitt's situation – that desire _to know the truth, not just the convenient bullshit one was fed for the sake of national security _–but all his Commander-in-Chief could see was another opportunity to dig a little more at Jake and continue this game of one-upmanship.

Frustrated and worried for her safety, he calls her back to let her know the outcome of the call. He implores her to get out of there, to leave and save herself...the Congressman be damned. The idea that her saviour-complex, of her banking so highly on being able to resolve this situation...

He considers for a moment, how sincerely he is concerned about Ms Nesbitt. And his concern stretches only as far as Olivia is concerned. He feels no shame in this. Olivia saved him, he doesn't know how but he knows she did it. She's all he sees.

When she asks him how he is doing, as if entirely oblivious to the danger she is in, his heart warms for her a little more. Extraordinary woman... she really is entirely focused on everyone else without seeing herself.

Unswayed, she thanks him for trying.

"Just get out of there!" He implores her one last time.

When she says she'll do her best, she's all professional, already weighing up what to say next to Ms Nesbitt about their failed attempt.

* * *

He's been glued to the TV, watching how the situation on the Hill played out. She returns, looking entirely drained and defeated. This is a side of the Fixer the world never sees – the fragile woman who has to bear the burden of people's failed aspirations and poor choices; who has to live with buried scandals or be on the frontline of catastrophic falls.

When she starts questioning why he came to be at her house, he's taken aback. Maybe she expected him to be gone when she returned. But then she stops that thought and instead clarifies, how he came to be there. She continues shooting him with questions: why was he there? How was he there? What was the plan this time...was it more surveillance...in aid of what...in service of her Father, to what end?!

From her frantic questions and desperate scrabbling for possible answers, he can feel the tension rolling off of her; her enquiries are fraught with unease and a palpable urgency to grasp a clear understanding of the situation. But he doesn't know. He sincerely does not know. And out of anxiety and nerves he tells her he doesn't know why he was let out but his eyes are pleading not to question why they let him out or even return to the idea of that nightmare. They stand, rooted to their truths. She looks at him, trying to read any deception in his eyes. He looks back at her, equally trying to convey the sincerity of his unknowing. He doesn't know why they let him go, but he will not look back and stare too deeply into that abyss, lest they pull him back into it.

She walks past him as if in a daze, sits on the couch and she tries to articulate her reservation and fear. He sits beside her, considers putting his hand on her knee, reassuring her of his presence. But he is about to return to that place, return to his nightmare and he doesn't want to draw her into that, even in recollection. He retells her of how she saved him – though he'll never know just how far she went: what favours she asked nor the devils she bargained with.

And at her confession that Command owned her too, that it was just a matter of time until _He _used Jake against her, her phone started ringing anew. That shrill unwanted announcer, ricocheting about them that Command is there between and amongst them.

And in that moment, the idea to free them all enters his mind. Whatever he feels for her, he cannot pursue until she is entirely free and that freedom will never come until Command is gone. And perhaps then, when _He_ is gone, she can see him for who he is, and not some asset being prepped to turn on her.

But the phone continues ringing, that strident sound engulfing them both...


	4. Author's Note

I'm massively thankful for everyone who's read and reviewed. What a glorious affirmation of my feeble attempt!

But I've lost all interest in the show, to the point i know i will never finish this fic. But i will happily post the notes i had for each chapter. So it's a look at the skeleton before i draped on the flesh.

I'm sorry I couldn't give you a complete fic...


	5. 304

intro: he's upset that she's asking him to leave, but he's being analytical and blunt about what she's saying: no-one knows where he is, and b6-13 always knows. she's the one who wants him gone. and he's trying to set her free from her dad - knows he'll never have a sincere moment with her until that is all put behind them. this is now the fighter.

when he asks if f. knows, it's partially to get the info as to how close they are, what has she shared with f. but also to bolster his case: he knows what she's facing, he can help. when she says she's never heard of b6 or him, that throws him. she's repudiating everything he is, everything they shared. why did she save him then? he tries to kiss her and she leans away; it really is over.

13:45 he sneaks up on huck, because he knows someone who was once in the service knows just how real it is; he wants to get him away from command and free him as much as himself as much as liv. huck would make the best ally

21:05 he's listening in, trying to get some real dirt he can use

22:52 the fighter, he's single-minded and without restraint in this. he needs her to help, to get involved. huck is there, listening too, probably as jake knew he would. was that drama trying to pique huck's interest or get liv on her side

32:10 i need to talk to you, the gentleman is back. he genuinely has much to discuss with her, but with huck at his back, the fighter has to come to the fore. and huck is the leverage he needs to make it past the door.

38:58 the gentleman has the conversation over a bottle of wine. he comes in with the quirky chirps, but when she puts her head down as if to cry, he gets concerned - he thought she would be stronger than that and take it better. she opens up to him. and in that moment of honesty, he decides to be her strength, her comfort. he decides to be a guy who's there for his bird. and she chooses to kiss him, and he likes it. and maybe this is their new start without the spy and officer in the way, but then the fitz phone rings and she's away. he sighs - he's seen this play play before.

*bastard* he quirks up because he wants to be a nuisance. he's a guy after all. and f. can feel her slipping from him.


	6. 305

1:46 the fighter, now in tow with huck, is trying to gather intel from command. information is the greatest commodidity

7:34 talking with huck about the files they obtained.

9:22 making progress with huck, then he's picked up by ssa

playing ball with the f. he syas he doesn't play dirty, but at the final minute he pushes him out the way. tells him he's adapting his bad behaviour to suit where he is

17:10 on the phone with huck, jst back from b'balling with f. the fighter and spy-on-his-personal-mission.

(in the office when liv walks in)he hides what he's doing, and he lies, without hesitation. he points out her phone's in her hand, and they have an open and honest conversation. she's chilled enough with him with to be honest and tell him what's going on. she's open with jake, because she trusts him and doesn't see him as a threat. she lets her guard down. the spy/gentleman is at play again.

32:28 the spy continues with his quest. when she calls, he says no because he can see straight through the ploy. he does care for her and he doesn't want to be played. when h. tells him that it's good that she has him, and that she needs this, it makes jake wonder. maybe he was always concerned about the end game and he didn't realise that he has made steady progress, formed a sincere attachment.

the dinner - he's looking at her but she's look at f. he isn't even upset, he knew she was calling him to be a cover.

34:39 he gives her permsission to leave. she bounds off excited to see f.

38:50 the gentleman - standing up for himself and letting her know it is what it is.

40:40 he gets back, finds huck there, he's surprised but not in a horrendous way, takes it in stride and they find the missing pieces about remington.

without rest, they go straight to liv's apartment to share the information


	7. 306

intro - the fighter - he has his theories about how she's dealing but he defers to huck, he is more expert than he in that regard.

he watches her leave, wondering about how that will all play out.

10:25 he's there, eager, waiting. she hears him out, and he can understand without her having to say the words. and like a gladiator, he goes to get her more. she implores him to be careful

11:54 meets up with an old contact to get some info. he starts to dig. his contact proposes a little something extra. he gently declines. when she asks if it's because he's found someone, he abashedly nods. because she is his someone - even if she doesn't see it that way.

33:45 he's exercising, keeoing in shape. gets a call from his contact, goes out to meet her. and in his non-vigilance, he's followed, the old man gets the drop on her. finds that he was about to be taken out.

38:06 meets with f. thanks him for saving his life. he really is focused on getting out from under b6 and f. is crazy adamant for him to let it go. f sees nothing but her, jake sees nothing but getting out from under b6 and command


	8. 307

11:16 he sits alongside her, as liv briefs her team. when she tells them about fitz, he looks at her team to guage their reaction.

21:44 he's there, watching opa and the gladiators they are, doing what they do. he adds his 2c, which then leads to a new avenue of consideration

32:33 everyone is working, he's integrated into team OPA

39:38 calls liv to update her, notes that their target is dead, knows b6 got to him


	9. 308

2:33 he's entirely integrated into the team.

7:56 bumps into quinn. raises an eyebrow, wonders how she can be on the jump when he's there to pick up the tapes

11:25 he's there, gladiator as he is, going through the survellaince with the b6 spies

12:38 watches her meltdown over f. and his call. levels with her, tells it to her straight.

13:57 they get the snippet of information about the killer, but need to dig 's in with the team

33:47 he's being chumly. and when she's vaguely evasive, he just knows. and he says it and moves on without lingering. he's not upset anymore, he's just resigned.


	10. 309

6:40 he's the calm one, still within the fold of the gladiators.

as they listen in they realise that all is not as it seems, and him and huck step in and do what has to be done, get the tracker out and keep moving.

13:23 he's outside, keeping watch. the meta strategy continues: getting rid of command.

he gets to f. and asks for help. he calls him out plainly, about how his life is not the fairytale f. had. as much as this mission is about gettting his freedom, f. is only seeing olivia. he leaves, angry and exasperated. he knows this situation needs to be resolved and it won't be unless he does, on his own with his own resources.

20:10 plans his own mission, it is a disaster and his people die.

21:32 meets back with huck, tells him of the disaster that was the mission.

38:18 they arrive to drop her off. his first move is to check the surroundings, make sure they're ok.


	11. 310

4:51 they've reconvened, and are planning going forward.

7 liv whiles out at huck when quinn's chip goes offline. she asks jake to find her dad.

10:42 they can't find her dad. she's still sore at huck but he needs to temper her temper. as honest as they are with each other, he tells her the truth and reality of the situation. his voice wavers when he asks her to realise she has to cut huck some slack as she's not the only one to lose her happy memories. he's reliving being back in the hole when he implores her to cut huck some slack

25:47 him and huck are following the trial taken by olivia's dad. he calls and doesn't say we've found him, but "i know where ur father is". some of that hero complex fitz mentioned is coming to the fore

34m he knows where maya lewis disappared to. she brings up rowan, he instantly tries to dismiss it. when she mentions how her father will react, he is formal, tells her not to underestimate the president. she gives him a skeptical look. he kisses her - this is g'bye. he knows something he isn't telling her.

tells her he loved her, hints again at something she doesn't know. re-iterates he loved her, pauses as if he's thinking something over, realises that it's not past tense, tells her he loves her (without saying it, but adding - still). she was suprised before, wondering when that would have happened, looks at him, a little sad: the person she wants, she can't be with. the person who has given their everything for her, she does not care for in that way. usually so quick with words and responses, resolutions and fixes, she's quiet. he leaves and she realises she hasn't said a word.

(38:51 rowan is striding through the halls of his office - the place he knows. olivia calls, tries to tap into his goodness. but not here - this is not the place where he is humane and soft. he's not dad here. he's command. continues his walk - he has a job to do, like finding maya and getting her back.)

40:17 it's evening, and he's updating his new recruits. rowan walks in, and questions wth. jake levels rowan a look and tells him unemotionally the way things will be going forward. he offers him the route to employment at wonderland through their aptitude test, otherwise his agents - his agents - will escort rowan off the premises. he calls fitz, truimphant and satisfied with the new start and lets him know that it's done - eli has been given the sack. fitz signs off saying they will make a great team.


	12. 311

7:52 catching up with all the people - vetting everyone. realises charlie is probably crazy. looks out for quinn as per olivia's instructions. makes it sound professional but is entirely personal.

37:44 he knocks at her door. of course he could break in but he respects their boundaries. he hasn't seen her since he said g'bye. now they have the conversation about b6-13. he tries to explain to her, that on the other side of the desk, he sees where he can make a difference. he tries to articulate it into words but sees that's not what she wants; knows he could well-fail at it too. so he just tells her he could do better.

she asks for quinn. he instantly replies that he doesn't have her. he knows that he's already spoken to charlie - he knows his orders will be followed.

he tries to tell he the difference he will make - instead of her ruthless father. he could get maya back, and bring her to justice fairly. he's still idealistic. she snaps about how he'll change, about the monster he'll become because they both know what eli is like now. he tries to impress upon her how he couldn't deny fitz. tells her he serves at f. pleasure. she retorts "don't we all." he's exasperated at her lack of ability to see how he had no choice...or rather, the good that could be done in this position.

she vents about the responsibility of serving f. and the republic. he knows her well enough to know she's not just talking about his Command. She lets slip about vermont. She realises she can ask him to help her through this. propositions him. starts a fake relationship. he says yes - not because he gives a damn about f. or serving the republic in that respect, but because he would do and give anything for olivia.


	13. 312

intro: he's standing outside with the other ssa, listening olitz have a screaming match about him. tries to make small-talk with tom about how they organise their security detail. he hears about how fitz thinks he's a threat, notes him as jealous of his intentions towards olivia.

overhears olivia screaming how jake by her side is for her. they have an awkward moment when they step out. he keeps his eyes on her. until before fitz leaves, and they cut their eyes at each other: jake knows him now, he sees him when it comes to olivia. that relationship is not fair, not equal, and she is taking strain. and jake knows fitz thinks him a threat. and jake eyes him, letting him know he can use that to his advantage if he wants, but chooses to say nothing, tow the line. he looks back at olivia, he sees her too. for all her strength and composure, she's a mess. and he's one of the few who gets to see that, speak into it.

8:30 he knows these agents, he's just suprised by their suddent entrance and brusque manner in his office. he asks what's going on, relaxed and calm. their curt tone alerts him that things are about to get real. this is an aspect of the job he wasnt' aware he goes through the documentation, it dawns on him, the enormity of what he's stepped into. this is so much bigger than f. grudge match against eli and more than maya pope; it spans countries and hundreds of agents in delicate situations. and for a moment, in the midst of the amount of pressure and expectation, he's kinda high on the responsibility and power of it. he has a real job to do now...this is all very much on him.

f. gave him an in, but now he realises there is an absolute depth to this role not even f. knows of.

and now he also has a white house asset who is to reveal themselves. he's overwhelmed: by the magnitude of what he has to do, of his true responsibility, of this position and it's requirements. there's a faint tickle in the back of his mind that sympathises with rowan and everything he had to juggle and oversee.

13 she calls, and he'll always take her call. his motivation is that, because they have had to deal with the bullshit between them, she has to see him for who he is. and if she's ever going to love anyone, she's going to love him. because she can see him, all of him. as much as he can see her.

she asks about what happens when b6-13 command is deposed. he tries to answer her questions and be done with it - he's still trying to make heads or tails of all this information newly presented to him. but he'll assist her as far as he can.

when she goes on about how rowan is out for blood, when she mentions f., he has a moment where he's tired of entertaining this nonesense. but then again, there might be something to her apprehension. so, taking a breath and composing his thoughts, without emotion and mild indifference, he tells her he will see what he can do. when she thanks him, that brings a smile to his face. he likes her gratitude. he likes anything that draws her closer to him. he hangs up, looks at his phone lovingly. he will look into this - not because he fears her father will strike against the republic but simply because she asked him.

20:53 he arrives back at her apartment, in a rush. she called him stating it was important, and for her he rushed back. intellectually, he knows that their relationship is a sham, a farce, so he walks in and asks "what" in the same manner that he said he liked about how she answered the phone.

calmly, she greets him back. he starts to undress from the work day - taking off his jacket, unlooseing his tie. when she starts guessing at the number of his agents, he doesn't try to deflect her, he merely reiterates how that information is classified and how her guessing won't make it any less so.

he's genuinely suprised that quinn was tailing her dad. and when he asks if she thinks he's an idiot, he takes that opportunity to let her know what's up - things have changed since last they made this convenient agreement.

he reminds her, in vague terms, that he has a real job to do that does not involve her personal microscopic issues. he'll gladly assist how and when he can but she cannot dictate to him - that is not going to work. because he has a job, he has responsibilities and duties. he looks away as he mentions those resps+duties, because all that information dropped on his desk is tangible and real and very much more relevant and current than the newest w.h. issues.

he concludes - smartly, because he knows he can't go round for round with her about her job - about what he expects out of this arrangement. he's playful, cheeky and a little sexy in telling her how he wants to eat real food (wine and popcorn don't cut it for him!) he wants to drink real beer. he walks away, undressing further, explaining that he'll want to remove the grime of the day from him. and he wants to sleep with her, leaving her speechless.

35:04 he sits her down and tries to level with her. he's lecturing her like a concerned parent. she does give him good intel and wisely cracks that she's more concerned about him - untrained as she is.

41:15 it's late, he's going through more intel. he knows tom, he's seen him before. so this is his asset inside the wh. he takes a look at what's been going on in the oval. he's invested in the conversation olitz is having about him. when liv states her uncertainty, he exhales, considering the ramifications of what that means. she's not saying no, but she's not sure either. but that's positive progress - because she was squarely invested in f. but now she's at least considering that jake is an unknown variable in her life. if she cared not for him, she would know. but her uncertainity gives him something to build/work on.


	14. 313 - A Jake Epi 3

intro: He's in his office, retelling his story about his family but without naming names. they're ghosts - his family - mere memories. he explains the process that's led to where he is and the resignation within him about how he is now a b613 agent and command.

9:23 he can see that quinn will run wild without being reigned in. so he gets her a job within the organisation, being benign.

11:20 he's at home, contemplating nothing. she arrives, blowing in with lots of words and he's trying to cut through the noise to ascertain why she's there. he knows her well enough to know that something is entirely off. but she vents about not wanting to be real, wanting to pretend. so because that's what she needs, he does it. as is a trademark of their relationship, he does tell her the truth though, about how normal is boring. and he lets her in on how he knows he can make a difference every day, and that is both inspiring but equally humbling, so much so that he sometimes does wish he could live the lie and simply sell paper.

that calm admission of truth, that fraility he allows her to see, emboldens her to shed a bit of that load she's carrying and be honest with him. She alludes to how crazy and mixed up everything has become. and he offers her a way out - tells her how they could run and be away from it all. because for her, WITH HER, he would give this all up in an instant and run and start afresh. but she downs her wine and exhales. He sees that she won't, so he returns to being flirty and light. He tells her how if she gets drunk he'll take advantage of her. She trusts him, implicitly, and tells him without fear that she knows he won't. And he reiterates that no, he wouldn't take advantage of her. and there is meaning beyond just the surface of what he says - he wouldn't use her for gain. but he most definitely would love to sleep with her.

in that moment of calm between then, he pleads with her againt to run away with him, to save him. she can't do that. she can't save him. she's a gladiator but she knows she can't. so she offers him what she can, and allows him comfort in her body.

19 he's been summoned by cyrus.

20 cyrus has levelled with jake about the publius, sally langston charade. he decides to step back and allow them all to play out this drama. cyrus breaks down what all this means on the grand scale, and encourages jake to ante up and take care of business, to do his damn job.

to which jake replies, that cyrus is a mouse, not a monster or a political giant. he dismisses this issue as being miniscule and beneath his dignity and position to entertain.

*next day, at the office*

quinn tells him how charlie never had to pay his dues. he stands before her and allows her to run her mouth off, allows her to vent how olivia lulled her into a semblance of normalacy, led her to believe she was part of a family. but it was all a lie. he allows her to speak because she needs a moment to consider if perhaps she has merely lost her way and needs or wants to return to the fold. After she finishes speaking, he feings ignorance of her ramblings and tells her to address her phone manner, they're starting to lose fake business.

she takes a moment to consider what she said, and there's a moment of asdness that plays across her face. she's sad in part because what she said is true, and in part because it's not.

27 she's just finished speaking to f. and it was rough. jake comes home with take-out. he knows there's a sally/ cyrus issue but he refuses to get involved. his job and the dealings therein are classified and are not matter for their discussion. she tells him she cannot let him into her work either. he offers to keep her secrets, as he has kept hundreds others. he reiterates that if this is to be real and genuine, then she needs to let him in.

he invites her to stand in the sun with him. and she's quiet, taking a breath, and contemplating his request: looking straight ahead, thinking about what standing in the sun would look like. but liv's mind is on vermont. she doesn't want to stand in the sun. she wants to snuggle in the mountainous snow. with f. and when he realises her reservation, he's not angry or overly upset. he was banking on building on her uncertainty about her feelings for him. but she's certain about the future she envisages - it is not with him. it is with f. he nods, the understanding settling in. he's hurt though, he can't keep that out of his voice as he walks away. turning before he reaches the door, he puts up a wall between them: re-installing work and the secrets they keep and the goblins they are up between them. he tells her he should be doing his job, and as much as he's loath to admit it, there was a grain of truth in what cyrus was saying to him about making hard choices and doing unpleasant things.

*next morning*

quinn makes an appearance in his office. she starts to apologise, still in the spirit of camaraderie and casual concern, whereas he's all business. he takes that as an opportunity to get down to the business of b6, which catches her off guard - pleasantly so.

31:53 quinn delivers the info to jake.

32:39 he listens to the info they have, finds who all the players are and what they know. calls in tom. in the midst of the debate, he dispatches tom to take sally out if she starts to falter from the script of talking about the debate and starts to veer towards confession regarding daniel douglas.

41:22 the four conspirators meet.

and jake tells how he becomes the dark, and how there is no sun on the horizon


	15. 314 - Another Jake Epi!

intro - seeing him steel himself from the car to where the motley crew are, he is determined and focused. this is his job - this is what being command is all about. and he proposes a plan to david.

5:52 she's at the wh, and calls jake. he's dirty and has clearly been exerting himself. but for her, as always, he promises to look into the potentially mysterious death of daniel douglas. he hangs up, looks at his phone, and contemplates the person he has become who can make such phonecalls, and then do what he does.

then he continues burying the two women.

16:17 liv marches down to his office, and reads him some filth! when she wants to know who made him do this, she is blown away by his brutal honesty.

he tells her he's Command, that it was his call. and he admits to what he did, telling her he was sparing someone else - some easily corruptable young soldier - from the trauma of murder and the stain that never washes away.

as she walks away, he warns her to stop digging around james, reminding her that bad things happen to good people all the time. she leaves, closing the door behind her, leaving him with his thoughts. and he considers for a moment - if the republic so needed, would he end her? he dismisses the thought, praying that day never comes, because he fears the answer.

19:30 jake goes to visit david rosen. he's entirely business, and demands david do his bit. he's given him a suspect, he alludes to the knowledge of what david is doing that he is aware of - the meeting with the attorney general. he signs off that a suspect has been provided, he must be used.

20:12 the conversation with liv and her dad: he gives her an inside peek into what goes on as Command. and he lets her know that jake's job is punishment enough, despite what she may want to do against him.

40:47 he sits watching the news as liv announces their patsey has been arrested.

a flashback to when james died. and his heart is open.

this is the difference he promised to be when he became Command. and so he crouches beside james novak, talking him through his death. he explains to him what happened, not necessarily why but james would understand. he reassures him that ella would be fine, that he would not die alone. and he maintains eye contact, not allowing him a moment's despair, allowing him that final dignity of not being killed and abandoned. but rather, jake takes that pain with him. immerses himself within death, searing his minds-eye with james haunted look and final benediction towards his daughter whom he'll never see again. and even after he dies, when life ceases in him, jake waits a moment, looks away and the enormity of the life he has signed up for dawns on him and it is a heavy weight, but it is one he will bear to spare another from its overwhelming, crushing weight.


	16. 315

17:20 jake is no-longer compelled to be in uniform and walks in to fitz office confident. he's taking his post entirely seriously, due to the gravity of what he's done and the responsibilities squarely upon him.

he reads fitz some filth. then calmly disarms cyrus. he lets him go - not because f. ordered him to do so but because he neutralised him and told him to calm down. he walks out, on his own terms, relaying his condolences to cyrus. he knew the harrowing truth of how james came to die, and that pause between saying "i'm sorry" and "your loss" is both personal and sincere.

25:54 they report back to jake, who then subsequently sends quinn out to meet with huck. from the way he cuts off charlie, he doesn't delight in the violence.

29:07 he goes to visit rowan rips into him, turning on the charm and filling him with a false sense of hope, empathising as if he truly cared. and jake listens, with the same placid look on his face as always. when eli concludes, jake counters that he will remember to kill him on his own if needs be.

he hadn't fallen for any of it. he didn't buy into the warm empty words, and was equal to eli's threats.


	17. 316 - Sexy Times

10:22 he's in his office, bathed in light, contemplating what it would be like to not be who he was, to be able to stand in the sun. he gives charlie and quinn the new target to pursue - liv's mom.

12:35 he goes to liv's apartment, to have a drunken conversation with her. she reminds him that he's a gentleman still - that he wouldn't break into her house even though he could.

when he tells her he would never kill her friends, and admits to hearing the b6-13 in his brain, he's just continuing in the vein of honesty they have established between them. he's entirely self-aware - drunk or otherwise - about the rules and rigors of his job. he is under no (self)illusion about how he has to compartmentalise and think. he lets her know why he's there - he's at an impasse. he wanted her to stand in the sun with him. and he has an outburst and bangs on her door, it's unbridled frustration. he whispers at her door "i asked you to save me, and you said no". he turns to leave, entering the elevator with the realisation, admitting defeat with the knowledge that he is entirely alone.

26:38 he's awoken by the general sense of disquiet in his apartment. with his gun level, he comes from this bedroom, round the corner to apprhend whomever would be foolish enough (yet stealthy enough!) to break into his apartment. liv is standing there, drinking wine and being nonchalant. the last time she was at his apartment, she was still faking being in a relationship with him. she had more on her plate than she could handle and so, sought solace in their fabricated life together.

he's groggy and entirely taken aback by her presence in his apartment. he asks her what she wants - she had turned him away as he stood, raw at her door, pleading for her intervention in his life to not be the person he saw himself becoming.

he asks her again, why she's there, what she wants. she says he wants her, because he craves that intimacy outside himself, he propositions her. because in the past, in their silences, they found comfort in one another. and as he holds her in his embrace, he's trying to read and guage her emotions. she responds, almost automatically, holding onto him as well. but he's biased. he loves her. he wants her to be there for him.

and in all this time, he reads what he wants to in her silences. she hasn't uttered a word after her initial remark. but because she knows him, because she came in her - quietly and with a plan - she knows that she need not say a word and he will assume the best. all she need do, is encourage him by her acquiesence.

***MINCING!***

28:28 ESSEX

29:12 post-coital and sated, he murmurs how he's missed her. she forces the words out, but all he can hear are the words and for the first time in a long time, he has a semblance of peace.

40:26 command is watching maya pope and trying to figure out her next move to know when to strike. as elevated as the situation is becoming, he requires calm and tells charlie and quinn to stand down.

the moment the lights go out, he wonders to himself how this could have happened.

42:29 in a fit of fury, but with an equally calm and sober mind, he bursts into her office and grabs her, throwing her against the door and aiming his gun at huck to stay back, demanding olivia explain herself. she is the only anomoly in his life - the only piece that doesn't seem to fit and the only person who would be audacious enough to pull such a move on him.


	18. 317 - Fix-it

{He had left, disgusted with himself. Her chastisement had been richly deserved. She would need to learn to trust him again...if she ever chose to see him outside work ever again. They both knew the violence he was capable of, that was no excuse. But for his lack of self-control, for his allowing his senses to blur to treat her like a adversary...for that there was no excuse. He had killed women before, engaged in hand to hand combat, hell, he had just killed that NSA operative and reporter. But she was not a mark, a target. She had foolishly set herself up as such, but their complicated relationship had rendered her so much more. She would need time. As would he, to process and fully deal with what had just happened.

Personal, whirling emotions aside, he had to alert the wh.}

When he arrived back at her office an hour later, he announced himself at security downstairs and waited for huck to escort him up.

The ride up was in silence. Though he waited, knowing Huck had something to say. As the ringer dinned, announcing their arrival at her office level and the elevator doors glided open, Huck turned around on the landing, stopping Jake's exit.

"She's not..."

"I know!" Jake hurried before Huck said anything further.

The smaller, sober assasin eyed him with a menacing look.

"I know what you know. We've done the same things. For her, I'll do it again." And Huck allowed the grim promise to hang for a moment between them, then sharply turned and strode into the office.

They were no-more apologies to make. And Olivia received him in the conference room, the atmosphere changed and charged around them, yet the professionalism still constant. Or so he thought...

"You called Fitz? Seriously? I thought you were Command...you calling Daddy to make things right or you?"

"It's my job!" He paused. That sounded like a weak excuse, like a whiny response. He tried to find further reasoning, in case she needed any. "You shut down B6-13 Olivia! He was bound to find out."

"Any you putting your hands on me...was that part of your job too? Fitz likely to find that out too?" she sneered at him. "This was between me and you Jake! Or can't you handle it...can't handle me?" Her voice dropped suggestively at the end. She turned from him, shaking her head to clear her thoughts.

"Or maybe you're upset 'cause I..." she eyed him saucily, sparking a flashback to the night before, "I handled you? Is that it. I shut down your little fiefdom and now you're pissed and ..."

Good, she was angry but addressing the issue. That level of contempt could only be bourne from familiarity which he still seemingly enjoyed from her.

"What you did was treason Olivia!"

"Treason?!"

He was glad to see Fitz siding with him. This was far more than their personal grudges and rivalries. There was truly an armed and very dangerous terrorist who knew all the President's possible moves, out and about. And he didn't know where she was, because Olivia had decided to flip a switch. Her personal crusade was yet again, biting everyone in the ass.

Even Cyrus was sympathetic. For once, he seemed to understand the many levels that this operation ran on, whilst Olivia seemed to be stuck on the minute personal details.

"B6-13 has to be reconstituted!" He would brush aside that fiefdom comment; she would never know the toll this job took on him. But that's ok, this was a burden he gladly bore to make a difference...to be the difference!

When she talked of sacrifices he snapped. Nope, that soapbox wouldn't do today. Back to earth with the rest of us Ms Pope!

The stunned silence after outing her seductive techniques was petty, but priceless. She wasn't looking at him, but at Fitz. So he turned to Fitz to continue his narrative, and chose to capitalise on Fitz stunned stare back at Olivia.

Admitting that he had been undone by Olivia - by a seduction he couldn't rightly blame on her because she had said nothing; he had said and done everything, she merely complied and used that to her advantage - that stung his espionage pride. He was a trained professional. And all she did was stand before him and he allowed his highest hopes to be realised...even if only for a moment.

"Really?"

'Yeah, really!' he thought. The added dimension of the intricacies and complexity of his relationship with her, her relationship with Fitz, Fitz relationship with Jake...it all added up to some blurred lines and bleeding sentiment. It was hard to separate the personal from the professional at times, especially when everyone seemed to know the perfect way to wound; the delicate points which were most vulnerable to harm.

With Cyrus input, the conversation could be steered back to Maya Pope and her team. But then the conversation seemingly became a dialogue between TeamWhiteHouse, a dialogue in half-sentences and knowing looks.

How many more layers were involved in this? What did they know that Jake was seemingly clueless about? He looked to Olivia, but she had been sidelined and looked as confused and out of the loop as he was.

"He's our best option..." Cyrus sighed resignedly, drawing that conversation to an end.

Jake and Olivia stood, still very confused and slightly apprehensive. What was going on?}

2:21 Eli arrives, and there's more drama and competition and snide remarks and personal missions getting in the dismisses them all, only wanting a solution without caring about the method. Surely he should know that he's invited two opposing personalities to work together to find a common outcome...how did he think this would turn out?

The final injunction from Fitz that Jake is still Command is uplifting, but there is still the unspoken knowledge that one never stops being Command. Eli's pointed reply that he's here to destroy that man seems to go unheeded to its full and grisly extent.

4:10 two heads really aren't better than one. they're both Command, one is just current and the other former. The information he's dispensing is old, and they're not making any real headway.

he can't keep the patronising out of his voice. He can't state his displeasure at being relegated in this. yes, it is a mess. But he can fix this. This situation - being directed by an evil man and having to accept it and play support, is untenable.

when eli drops the files and leaves, he's content to see him go. He's the new way at b6-13. there's no need to rely on old intel or old tactics to get results. He's the new blood - he'll make it work.

with eli's ludicrous suggestion that he be marginalised entirely, jake dismissed the thought entirely. nope, no way. no-one would go for that.

until that awkward silence and she did.

there was no argument to be had. He's already gone toe-to-toe with her before, he can't do it again. turning sharply to leave, he hears her come after him.

hearing her try to justify it, trying to make her understand what she's allowing back into her life, then he sees it: she's been seduced and lulled into the trap he's set for her as a mark. he tries to tell her the truth. huck did just the day previous, but she didn't listen to him. even as jake tells her that whatever she's feeling has been manufactured to bring about the result of someone else's machinations, he can see in her eyes she doesn't want to believe. And there's a part of him that gets it - when the people you love offer you what you want, despite all the signs or warnings to the contrary, you'll take whatever scraps they offer. he knows, he did.

he tries, once more to reach her. and he re-iterates her own father's words back to her - encouraging her to run when he reveals the truth.

20:42 although she has declined his offer to help, he still has a job to do. david is a useful ally.

this strategy will help. it will work.

26:10 he's out in that park, overlooking the water. and he answers and it's casual. he know she only calls when it's deeply personal and troubling. so they can get down to it. as much as he's thinking about where maya may be, he's also thinking about last night.

when he calls her out on last night, she's quick to tell him she was only doing a job, she was only getting the information she needed to fix a situation. he levels with her, tells her he can read her.

subconsciously she shrugs, as if wondering what all these feelings and hunches about what they felt and what that must subsequently mean, means for her.

he brushes it off, tells her he expects nothing when all he wants is for her to be bold, be brave, and admit what she felt. and for a moment she considers it...considers continuing to shut him out but she knows better - she knows he can read her, evidently, even when she's not around.

he breaks. and pleads for her honesty and bravery about them.

she tells him about dominic. about how her mother allowed her lover to be killed by her estranged husband.

jake rushes to reassure her she is not her mother. she is equally quick to tell him that is not where her difficulty lies. she knows she is capable of love and knows what sacrifice is in the name of such love.

she starts to ramble, saying things she knows to not be true about it being easier not to care for another person or to be able to act without the contstraint of caring about someone and wondering how they will fare based on your decisions or actions. he stops her, imploring her to tell him she felt it too. her dilema is that she loves fitz. but she entirely felt something with jake.

jake takes that little bit of progress, that little bit of truth she admitted and holds on to it. that feels like a first step.

her relief is less. because if that's true, then what has she held her life on pause for, for the last 5years? if fitz isn't everything...if someone sent in to lie and deceive her, as per his bidding, can awaken feelings only ever inspired by one man, then what has it all been for/ about?!

38:46 he's with david, and they're reviewing footage of maya pope. he calls olivia because she's his person. he wants to be a hero, for her. failing to contact her, he calls cyrus. because he believes in doing his job and needing to protect his boss.


	19. 318 - My End

:35 calls cyrus, because the church hasn't been cleared yet and time is running out.

1:08 jake bursts into the wh and delivers the message personally.

1:35 he highlights cyrus lack of action but reassures fitz that the threat is real, as the church blows up.

3:21 as olivia rushes to continue campaigning for fitz, jake continues on the job - is eli dead, is maya still in dc and what is she planning on doing next now that they know her plan has failed?

10:13 david rosen appears at jake's apartment, wanting to start a crusade. he tries to dissuade him - he doesn't want to get involved. he even brings up the three people he killed and reminds david he isn't a good guy. david rebuts that he believes that despite it all, jake really is. but for now, he just sits and watches bad tv and drinks beer.

33:32 he's suprised, and stunned, and kinda disappointed that she didn't call him. she sees herslef as the problem, as huck does for his family, and he calls her out on being cowardly and self-loathing. she tells him the truth - explains how she's the scandal and has to leave. he considers that for a moment and even though he has a moment's hesitation, and decides to capitalise.

"take me with u"

he appeals to her gladiator saviour complex. he encourages her to go with him, to stand in the sun with him.

40:08 he was waiting for her on the tarmac. he had sent the boxes to david - sent him on his crusade.

41:58 the plane didn't taxi, they were on their way. and then her phone rang. it was them. him.

"are you sure?"

yes

he respects that decision. takes a breath, because for a moment he didn't know if she would have the strength to see out her decision in the face of a man she loved - to simply walk away.

but she stuck by her decision. and she ddnt turn back. with an uncertain look out the window, wondering what was going on below and behind her, she looked to the future. and she looked to the future with him beside her.


End file.
